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Sunday, February 11th, 2007
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| Time: | 8:52 am. |
| Music: | "noise and kisses" the used. |
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yesterday was one of the best days i've had in a long time. i didn't want it to end, i didn't want to go home. i didn't have to get off of that couch we layed on for about 4 and a half hours....
but, all great things come to and end...
and now i get to go shopping for his birthday and valentines day. bleh. i freaking despise valentines day-really, i do. if i didn't have a guilty conscious i wouldn't worry about it. but, if he gets me something and i don't get him something...that...wouldn't be good on my part. so, yeah.
stressful day it's gonna be.
supposed to have a snow storm tuesday. no school hopefully tuesday and wednesday. hopefulyyyy.
yeah...i miss yesterday...
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Tuesday, February 6th, 2007
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| Time: | 4:37 pm. |
| Music: | "the sharpest lives" my chemical romance. |
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today was good i guess. took a test in science. hope i did good, at least a B.
hopefully.
i studied...so, yeah.
math was a test too. wtf. is it Test Tuesday or something? i thought i did good, but, last time i thought i did good on a math test i failed. so, whatever.
photography was. eh.
4th period was interesting. got to list stereotypes. i drew the stereotype "all americans are fat" (which is somewhat a fact x] ). everyone really liked the drawing. har.
i'm...hungry..but i refuse to eat. i can't...i just can't eat and not feel guilty-except at lunch (no, i don't just eat a salad. go fuck yourself). lunch, i don't feel guilty.
when i eat with a lot of people, i never feel guilty.
but when it's just me eating, i feel like "you know, you didn't have to eat that? you would of servived. pussy"
and lately i've had a new attitude towards people. pretty much like i don't want to waste my time with people who think they're hot shit, i don't have time for liars, i don't care what people think-if they think i'm immature-if they think i'm a little anorexic girl-if they think i'm not cool enough-if they get all bent out of shape because i'm not wearing what everyone else is wearing. i don't care. go fuck yourselves. and if they don't like me-oh well, i probably never liked them anyways.
i am a happy person, i just...don't care about people anymore. and what they think. my opinions on life are my opinions-and guess what? i didn't asked how you felt about that, so, don't give me your opinion on what you think of mine unless i ask and i won't give you mine unless you asked me.
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Thursday, February 1st, 2007
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| Time: | 6:19 pm. |
| Music: | "sleep" my chemical romance. |
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so, i thought i did good on this english quiz...B material perhaps-high B. get it back...a freaking C-. not cool, man. and the significant other got a freaking A. showing me up and shit. not cool. so, i'm studying like really hard for this next quiz, like...the teacher didn't even say when the quiz was yet, but...this wouldn't be the first time this semester (it's only been 2 freaking weeks, man!) that i thought i passed something and got it back as a failing grade. i just really want to do good for once. and not suck so much...that'd be nice.
ew...valentines day is coming up. it's cheesy. i don't want to celebrate it with my boyfriend, like...at all. i just think it's a stupid halmark holiday so stores can sell their cards and chocolate. and it's just stressing me out i guess...for many reasons.
i'm reading a pretty good book called "go ask alice" by anonymous. i can relate to the girl at sometimes-except for the LSD-drug-sex-drug-selling-life xD but...at some parts i can relate...
yeah...besides the grades and the anxiety feeling i'm getting which probably won't past untill the 22nd, my life has been pretty good. thanksss.
later.
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Tuesday, January 30th, 2007
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so, today was like...very interesting. started it out with Cristin and i fighting with Katie. har. it was funny. Cristin and i tried so hard not to laugh at this one point. butttt, after about 3 minutes, Cristin was smart and walked out of the batheroom (where this little scene was located at) leaving me with Katie. i was like "fuck this shit" grabbed my stuff and left with a furious look on my face as katie tried to get me to stay with those stupid words "COME BACK HERE, I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU"
yeah, okay. sorry...i'll come back since you said that...evs....why do people say that? it obviously doesn't work.
so, i went into homeroom, sat ontop of my desk and stared at the wall (for some reason, i never actually seem to sit in the seat) with nothing but frustration inside of me.
but...it was amazing. as soon as he walked into homeroom, i felt like it was all drained from me. i felt relaxed and happy. it's like he knew something was up too because he gave me a hug...man, i know i say this all the time
but
God
has
blessed
me.
the rest of the day was nothing but Cristin and i laughing at this morning's little scene (if you want to know what was so funny, ask) and our new saying now is "IS THIS SOME KIND OF COMPETITION TO YOU????".
and then 4th pd, i didn't say a word to Katie and couldn't even look her in the eyes knowing that if i did i'd want to start a fight. so, i was smart and just kept talking to ryan and being happy.
yeahhhh. american idol and house. fo sho.
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Saturday, January 27th, 2007
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| Time: | 9:40 am. |
| Mood: |  saturdays like these suck. | | Music: | "only one" yellowcard. |
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so, something tells me that next week at school is going to be drama between some good friends. i'm not one for drama, i hate it. it annoys me. i've gone so long without it. i was drama-free for the past 3 years. and now. ew. whatever. maybe this is for the better in a way.
hopefully tonight i go to the movies. i realllyyyy hope my mom doesn't bail on the last second like she did last night. that was lame.
so, i'll probably watch Gridiron Gang to cure my boredom, clean the house a little.
i hope my shoes come in today.
yeah, this journal was out of boredom, i don't expect anyone to comment.
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Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
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my day...was...long. too long. i really miss last semester. the day seemed to always go by too fast. and now it just drags on. never have i looked up at the clock before as much as i do now.
4th period...i pray to god my jealousy goes away.
i don't feel like typing about it. if you actually care, ask me about it and i'll tell you.
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Monday, January 22nd, 2007
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| Time: | 7:07 pm. |
| Mood: | scared, envious, frustrated. | | Music: | "creep" radiohead. seems to fit how i feel.. |
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today is my birthday. doesn't feel like it. woke up still angry with my mom. went to school. beggining of the second semester. the new classes are alright....i'm a little scared of 4th period...very scared actually.
still faught with my mom.
ate scallops, bacon ,and ice cream. hope i get sick and throw it up.
i just want tomorrow to be better....i just want to be happy again.
all of a sudden, i don't feel as pretty as i usually feel (don't say "BUT, YOU LOOK AMAZING. SHUT UP"). i remember last year, i'd have all this confidence (not cocky, but, it was confidence that i didn't look in the mirror and see anything i wanted to fix) and i don't know where it went to. and now, i just feel...like i'm not being noticed. my sister is starting to get skinnier than me (naturally), she seems to be getting more beautiful every day. when we get ready in the morning in the batheroom infront of the huge mirror, i just glance at her with envy.
and today he didn't seem to interested in me. maybe it's just my jealousy....
today...sucked. and ever since around 6 ish, i've been wanting to just curl up in a ball and cry.
seems like depression was only on a vacation.
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Thursday, January 18th, 2007
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| Time: | 8:47 pm. |
| Music: | "the gift" angels&airwaves. |
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so, wow...when i'm in my own little world, thinking about him
i like
couldn't be happier. i'm like, in such a happy state of mind.
then, i go down to talk and hang out with my parents.
and i snap.
we're yelling at eachother and i seem to insist on getting the last word and i get all pissed off.
and it's because
again.
when i'm not with him and i think about him too much, i turn into someone who isn't happy unless i'm around him.
when i'm just alone, laying in bed, watching tv. i'm all...very content just thinking about him. then once someone walks into the room to ask me something, i give them attitude because it's not him and i want them to leave and not see their face the rest of the night.
and even to friends. i'm like. so apathetic towards them sometimes.
at times i'll be all "I LOVE YOUU <3333" and then other times i'll be all "oh, had a bad day? that's unfurtunate" and not say another word.
but...i don't think it's all him that is the problem. it's my...mental/physical health that also has something to do with it. and that's starting to really fuck me up.
yeah.
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Friday, December 29th, 2006
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so, i've noticed that without them i'm more arrogant and apathetic of other peoples feelings. i'm back to the way i was before them. who new a week could do that to me. i just miss them so freaking much and the fact that they aren't here to put that stupid smile on my face just makes me so angry. i know, i should be happy just to even have that person...but, it's easy to get selfish and want more. it's so easy. i always tell myself, "LOOK, you have them. you actually have them when other people don't." and it's like...whatever. i don't know. i could just care less about everyone else right now. i have to watch what i say too because i realized that i'm starting to make people angry. i'm letting my thoughts slip out. i'll think something rude and since i'm so apathetic it just comes out...i'm also starting to feel how i used to feel. i feel unaprecciated. and it makes me question myself. and makes me paranoid in a way. like, why are they better than me? what did i do? and i'm also easily jealous so that factor never helped. and i have so much to vent about that i feel like i couldn't talk to anyone about it because no one could really understand. all they would say anyways would be IT COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE.
don't fucking tell me that. i know that for a fact.
but, guess what, i'm not dealing with how worse it could be, i'm dealing with how it is now. dear god i hate hearing that from every person i talk to...
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Thursday, December 28th, 2006
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| Time: | 10:37 pm. |
| Music: | "greener with the scenery" the used. |
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wow, i really miss him. like...really badly. and i could make it easier for myself and call him. but, i'm stupid. and i'd rather just sit here all day, bored out of my fucking mind and waste a day...and sit there watching Two-A-Days all freaking day long...is agony really that close of a friend to me?
never has a break sucked so much.
i'm so looking forward to school on tuesday.
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Saturday, December 2nd, 2006
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so, last night i went to the mall with Ryan and his family. first we ate...except Ryan who had to starve himself for wrestling. and then Ryan and i went to Sears, Boscovs, and the Bonton to find the ugliest shoes, to sit down on a couch and watch 50 different tvs at the same time, try on some pretty fugly hats, sit on some more couches that were for display only, and walk up to a watch salesman and ask if he had the time. it was pretty fun. i have way too much fun with that kid.
and today i got my hair did and went to the winterfest. and now i'm waiting till SNL comes on...and it's 7:45. this is the LONGEST night ever. i swear.
tomorrow i'm gonna go see Deck the Halls with my aunt and stuff. hopefully Alaina makes it. i miss that sibling of mine.
missing Tala. very much. hope you're having a good time with Kris and Liz! not sure if anyone else is with you...but, yeah :]
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Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
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pictures i took with katie on monday
^^^^ lmfao, we both look like complete idiots.
i attempted to lay on a the seesaw but commen sense did not kick in untill it teaterd (spelling errors, perhaps) down and i started to slide down the thing. you can see me sort of holding on for dear life, although the fall wouldn't of been anything harmful xD
this is what i look like when i'm hiding from people who might find me on private property...it's an attractive little face if i do say so myself x]
always willing to risk my neck for a picture that ends up not being that great anyways x]
.....
me as a guy
just call me Shane
 i'd be a "peeping tom"
"caterpillar..."
"....this shirt smells like tape..."
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Friday, November 24th, 2006
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| Time: | 7:39 pm. |
| Mood: |  blah. |
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ahha, so, i guess everytime i have an entry, i'm gonna do a little survey i find on myspace. why? cause i obviously have nothing better to do.
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THIS OR THAT
1. Babe or Baby: to be called? neither.
2. Sweetie or Honey: niether.
3. Darling or Dear: just call me by my real name, kthnx.
4. hug or kiss: depends on my mood. mostly hugs.
5. white or black: black.
6. ground or sky: sky.
7. night or day: night.
8. pool or beach: beach.
10. you or me: it depends on who "you" is.
11. silver or gold: silver.
12. left or right: ...right i guess cause i write with my right hand.
13. sunny or rainy: depends if i want to walk my dog or something.
14. hot or cold: depends.
15. lake or river: river.
HAVE YOU EVER
20. been camping: yeah.
21. eaten alligator: no.
22. gotten in a fight: yes.
23. been hunting: no.
24. gone fishing: yeah.
25. held a grudge for more than a week: yes.
26. killed something: yes.
27. had a mud fight: yes.
THIS OR THAT
28. kissing on the bed or kissing in the rain: rain.
29. watching a scary movie or a funny one: funny.
30. holding hands or being held: being held.
31. held at the shoulders or held at the waist: waist.
PRESENTLY
1. is your hair wet: no.
2. is your cell phone right by you: i do not own a cellular.
3. do you miss someone: yes.
5. are you wearing chapstick: no.
7. are you tired: not yet.
8. are you excited: kind of.
9. are you watching tv: yes.
10. are you wearing pajamas: no.
HAVE YOU
1. recently done anything you regret: yes.
2. ever lied: NEVER....i'm human, so, yeah.
3. put gum under a desk: yes.
4. ever kick someone?: m'hm.
5. ever trip over your own feet?: yes.
TODAY
1. have you cursed: yes.
2. have you yelled at someone: raised my voice.
3. have you gotten mad at someone: more so aggrivated.
4. have you cried: my eyes started to water from running into the wind, but, not from emotions.
5. have you called more than 3 people? no.
Q&A
Q 02: where is the last place you went?
A 02: to the bathroom.
Q 03: who is the last person you called?
A 03: katie.
Q 04: who do you like more, your mom or dad?
A 04: x
Q 05: do you have any siblings?
A 05: yes.
Q 06: do you smile often?
A 06: yeah.
Q 07: do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
A 07: i hope.
Q 08: do you wish on stars?
A 08: no.
Q 09: do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
A 09: no.
Q 10: when did you last cry?
A 10: not sure.
Q 11: do you like your handwriting?
A 11: no.
Q 12: are you a friendly person?
A 12: i'd like to think so.
Q 13: who's bed did you sleep in last night?
A 13: mine.
Q 14: what color shirt are you wearing?
A 14: white.
Q 15: do you have any pets?
A 15: yes.
Q 16: what is the color of your bedsheets?
A 16: black.
Q 17: what were you doing at 3pm yesterday
A 17: watching the I Shouldn't Be Alive marathon and wishing i wouldn't of shoved all that food down my throat.
Q 18: i can't wait until...
A 18: december 9th.
Q 19: is tom on your friends list?
A 19: probably. i never had a reason to take him off.
Q 20: look to your right. what's there?
A 20: tv.
Q 22: ever cried yourself to sleep?
A 22: yes.
Q 23: ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
A 23: no.
Q 24: song that makes you cry or really emotional?
A 24: do i have one? yes.
Q 25: are you normally a happy person?
A 25: on the outside, yes.
--
so, watching the Breakfast Club on Comendy Central. love this movie. very bored...wishing it was wednesday already....
katie comes over sunday to take pictures :D i'll put them on here then.
later.
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Monday, November 20th, 2006
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| Time: | 5:03 pm. |
| Music: | "i should mean more" jamisonparker. |
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crappiest i've felt in a really long time. i'm not even sure if i'm upset for the right reasons. like...if i'm upset that he's leaving for a week tomorrow to go to another state (which is gay, cause, it's just a week. it could be much longer...so i don't think that's really it) or that i saw something that is probably not even true cause i looked away too damn quick. or if i just feel like this cause i'm always depressed and little things like that can trigger it so quickly. and i'm thinking that's it....i've been happy for so long, and nothing bad has happened, then i saw something so stupid and JUST like that, it triggered my frustration, depression, anxiety, all of that bull shit at once. he noticed too, i wasn't myself around him at flex, he questioned what was up but as usual
i gave him a fake/weak smile and said i was just tired.
of course he believed me...
well, i've got a lot of coffee in me (which i noticed just now that i only seem to drink when i feel some kind of depression or something)and Kaci is itching for a walk...so, i'll take her on the 45 walk so i can talk to her and no one can here me out there in the middle of no where...
field trip tomorrow...it should be a good day...hopefully...
yeah.
later.
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Friday, November 17th, 2006
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| Time: | 7:12 pm. |
| Music: | "dusk, the day after" Jamison parker. |
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Cause i'm that lame, i'm doing another one of these. thanks.
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How much should you weigh? Just put an X in the boxes thats fits you. This is just a fun quizz.
Do you like:
junk-
[] chips
[] fast food
[] soda
[x] candy
[x] popcorn with butter
[x] pretzels
[x] corn (CORN, WTF? that's not junk. CANDY corn, perhaps?)
[ ] daikon
total:4
fruit-
[x]oranges
[x] strawberries
[x] apples
[] bananas
[] pineapple
[] pears
[] peaches
[x] grapes
[] plums
[x] clementines
[] tangerines
[] raspberries
[] blueberries
[] limes
[] lemons
[] mangos
[] cherries
[] watermelon
[] cantalope
[x] honeydew
total:5
meat-
[x] ham
[x] chicken
[] lamb
[] pork
[x] steak
[x] turkey
[] bologna
[x] fish
[x] deer
[] bird
[] salami
[] pepperoni
[] alligator (who the h
total: 6
dairy-
[x] milk
[] cheese
[] yogurt
[] cream
[x] butter
[x] eggs (...eggs is a dairy product?)
total: 3
desserts-
[x]brownies
[x] ice cream
[x] chocolate
[]sherbet
[x] cake
[x]cup cakes
[x] cookies
[] toffee
[x] caramel
[x] mousse
[x] whipped cream
[x] chocolate covered strawberries
[x] pie
[] creme puffs
[x] Jell-O
[x] chocolate covered pretzels
total: 13
Carbs-
[x] bread
[x] pasta
[x] cereal
[x]bagels
[x] doughnuts
total: 5
overall total: x 3 = 108
Now add up the number of x's and multiply by 3 to get the weight that you should be.
Repost this as i should weigh___ pounds
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that was...gay...i orginally weigh 120-BUT IT'S ALL MUSCLE. HAHA-no.
so, today was a pretty good day...flex with Ryan and Mrs. Stoltzfus was pretty much fun. even though Ryan was making me nervous with his stapler.
never realised how freaking skinny that guy was till today. hollyshit.
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Saturday, November 11th, 2006
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| Time: | 5:04 pm. |
| Music: | "a lesson in charades" Asteria. |
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yeah...more than bored.
once again, another stupid survey from a friend's myspace.
LAST PERSON YOU...
1. You hung out with?
Brittani
2. Rode in a car with?
my mom
3. Went to the movies with?
katie
4. Went to the mall with?
mom and sister
5. You talked on the phone to?
tala
6. Made you laugh?
tala i think
7. Kissed?
x
W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?
1. Pierce you nose or tongue?
nose, tongue is skanky.
2. Be serious or be funny?
depends on situation
3. Drink whole or skim milk?
never tried skim, so, i guess whole
4. Die in a fire or get shot?
shot
5. Spend time with your parents or enemy??
parents
A N S W E R. T R U T H F U L L Y.
1. Do you like anyone?
yeah
2. Sun or moon?
moon
3. Winter or Autumn?
autumn
4. left or right?
right
5. 10 acquaintances or two best friends?
two best friends
6. Sunny or rainy?
rainy
7. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
vanilla
A B O U T . Y O U.
1. What time is it?
4:01
2. First Name?
Janna
3. Where do you wanna live?
where ever i'd be most happy at
4. How many kids do you want?
at the most, 3
5. Do you want to get married?
yeah
6. Do you cook?
barely
7. Current mood?
anxious
. S T U F F .
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
yeah
2. Do you have a Dog?
yeah
3. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
someone
4. Do you believe in ghosts?
yeah
---------------------------------
if i'm lucky, i get to go to the movies tonight with Ryan. knowing my luck, something will come up...
now i need to go get warm.
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Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
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| Time: | 5:26 pm. |
| Mood: |  content. | | Music: | "peace" weezer. |
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thought it was about time for another entry.
today was kind of blah. person who i was looking forward to seeing (and kind of nervous of seeing)all weekend was in school today because they were sick....so, it was a boring day.
BUT, an absolutely beautiful day. it looked like it was gonna snow all day. and everyone was like
EW, TODAY IS SO UGLY.
evs. i took Kaci on a 45 minute walk. usually the walks are only 20 minutes that i take on the road, but, i felt like taking a really long walk on such a calm day like this. i walked down the huge corn field instead, onto this path way, and then through the woods. the atmosphere was so awesome...
now i'm really freaking tired because i made myself sprint as long as i could with Kaci to train myself for track&field that doesn't start till spring xD i know i have a while
but
i have this bad habbit that if i'm gonna be doing something
I HAVE TO BE THE BEST AT IT.
and right now, i'm pretty fast, but not the best on the team-i know this for a fact.
i also asked Mrs. Deery how i would train for the team and she told me to sprint as fast as i can for a short distant, stop and catch me breath, sprint again, and then stop. ect.
i also might do the high jump. i won this track&field thing for the high jump last year in gym...i'll train with Mrs. Deery on it...
yeah, so.
thought i'd ramble.
later.
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Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
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i haven't done one of these in forever. so, fill it out for me? x3
so mark it with an X if you would
[] go out with me?
[] give me your number?
[] kiss me?
[] let me kiss you?
[] watch a movie with me?
[] let me take you out to dinner?
[] let me drive you somewhere
[] cut some rug with me?
[] take a shower with me?
[] be my bf/gf?
[] have a fling with me?
[] let me buy you a drink?
[] take me home for the night?
[] Would you let me sleep in your bed?
[] Sing car karaoke w/ me?
[] re-post this for me to answer your questions?
[] give me a piggyback ride?
[] Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere
[] Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
[] lick my cheek?
[] dance with me?
[] let me make you breakfast?
[] let me tickle you?
[] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[] play strip poker with me?
[] say yes if i asked you out?
[] get wasted with me?
[] instant message me?
[] greet me in public?
[] hang out with me?
[] bring me around your friends?
i'm bored and waiting for someone to get on aim.
stolen from a friend on myspace.
1. Cigarettes: are worthless
2. Sex: proud virgin
3. Relationships: wouldn't know
4. Your Last Ex: annoying
5. Power rangers: good times
6. Crack: in the sidewalk
7. Food: yum
8. The President: i'm getting tired of hearing peoples opinions on him.
9. War: can be a big waste of time.
10. Cars: i would love to have my license.
11. Gas Prices: suck.
12. Halloween: Frankie's b-day.
13. Bon Jovi: shot through the heart.
14. Religion: is all i have sometimes.
15. MySpace: kind of pathetic.
16. Worst Fear: dying without ever having someone to love me back.
17. Marriage: yes.
18. Fashion: is amazing.
19. Brunettes: are cooler than you.
20. Redheads: clowns freak me out.
21: Work: i don't want a job-but i need one.
22: Pass the time: music
23. One night stands: never had one
24: Cell Phone: i want a nextel..
25: Pet Peeves: people who are obsessed with sex, drugs, and drinking and who think that anyone who doesn't do that stuff is stupid and do not know how to have fun.
26: Pixie Stix: tasty.
27: Vanilla Ice cream: with chocolate >:333
28: Porta Potties: disease.
29: High school: isn't all it's cracked up to be.
30: Chocolate: frankie.
31: Pajamas: don't where pajamas.
32. Wood: trees.
33. Surfers: got skills.
34. Pictures: are amazing.
35. First true love: a'hem....
36. Hair: hair...
37. Babies: not yet.
38. Corvettes: vroom.
39. Cd: la musica.
40. Men: mrowl.
41. Women: mrowl.
42. Porn: orgasmic.rofl.
43. Jewelry: money.
44. Piercings: si.
45. Oil: spills.
46. I Love You: liar.
47. Football: is fun.
48. Basketball: is gay.
49. Baths: showers.
50. True Love: waiting...
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
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| Subject: | 44 truths |
| Time: | 5:32 pm. |
| Mood: | meh. | | Music: | "the course of human life" the early november. |
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stolen from Tala's myspace blog :3
44 TRUTHS
Today Did You--
1. Talk to a boy/girl you like? yes.
2. Realize anything new? yeah.
3. Talk to an ex? no, thank God.
4. Miss someone? yeah.
LAST PERSON WHO--
5. Slept at your house? My family? katie.
6. Saw you cry? the posters on the wall?
7. You went to the movies with? katie.
8. Went to the mall with you? ashtyn and mom.
9. You said "I love you" to and meant it? tala.
10. Who made you laugh? hmmm...Brittani...i think.
11. Said they loved you? probably katie.
12. Called you in the middle of the night? no one.
13. Do you have a crush on someone? m'hm.
JUST PLAIN QUESTIONS--
15. Best feeling in the world? being with someone who you care about and just having a good time with them. and "good time" does not mean making out, i mean just laughing and talking with eachother.
16. Favorite location? depends who i'm with-really.
17. piercing/tattoos? 4.
18. What are you most scared of right now? Heh. Nothing I want to talk about.
19. Where do you want to get married? never thought about it-i'm more worried about who i'd be marrying.
20. Who do you really hate? i don't hate anyone. i just strongly dislike.
21. Does anyone really hate you? i wouldn't know.
22. Do you like being around people? i'm more of a one-on-one kind of person. but then, it depends on the group of people and if i'm in the mood.
23. Have you ever cried? yeah.
24. Are you lonely right now? in a way-yeah.
25. Song stuck in your head right now? "baby blue" the early november
26. Been on radio/TV? no.
27. Ever liked someone, but you think they never noticed you? yup.
28. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap? no.
29. How many beds did you lay in yesterday? one.
30. What color shirt are you wearing? black with dark blue stripes.
31. Name three things that you do every day? brush my teeth, take a shower, day dream, listen to music, talk, pray, blah, blah, blah.
32. How much cash do you have on you right now? not with me, but, about 5 dollars in change in my room.
35. Who got you to join myspace? myself.
36. What did you have for dinner last night? didn't eat dinner.
39. What web site do you visit the most? myspace and dA
40. Do you have plants in your room? yeah.
41. Does anything hurt on your body right now? something always does.
42. Where was your last cab ride? x
43. What's your favorite starbucks drink? forgot what it was called...but it had whipped cream on it-it was so freaking good.
44. Would you have a problem if your friend went after your ex? rofllmfao, they can have him.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRANKIE IERO 
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Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
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so, for LCBC tonight, we went to this guys house to rake leaves. i mean, it was mad crazy. there were so many freaking leaves for not that big of a yard-it was smaller than mine. but, the leaves like...yeah...70 some bags of leaves got filled. Jon said we're probably going back again cause there were still some leaves on the trees that haven't fallen off yet. i'm down with that.
we raked leaves in the darkness with a couple lights on. rofl, i almost walked into a tree branch, BUT LUCKILY, I DOGGED IT AND RYAN AND I BANGED HEADS. it was a lose-lose situation. har.
so...tonight...was just amazing. i didn't want it to end. but, all great things must come to an end as they say.
all i can say is that all the pain i've been through has been worth it-even if this happiness might end some day or we move on with our lives, all i know is that for right now, i'm actually happy. TRUE happiness guys. it isn't goofy happiness or the fake happiness you put out there when you don't want people to worry about you. it's the real thing. and i feel great about everything. i almost forgot what this feeling felt like.
but, anyways. school in the morning. got to run.
<3
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grateful.